Ding-dong the Witch is dead.
Which old Witch?
The Covid Witch
Let’s open up and ring the bells out
Let them know the Covid witch is dead!

How exciting. First, the Governor told me everything was OK and I didn’t need to worry about that pesky corona virus, and now the Summit County Council has voted unanimously to tell me that I need to get out and congregate, shop, and spend money again.

I was really feeling bad for Summit County. They were in the hole for like $10 million dollars. Was that round-about at Jeremy Ranch actually going to get finished this decade? Now my prayers have been answered. With Summit County’s new order, it frees up people from Utah County to come to Park City and tourists from around the world to bring their money and everything else into our fair corner of the world.

Better yet, Thursday the county released a 56-page health order telling local businesses on how to act when they open up less than 18 hours later. I mean, usually, I would recommend some sort of forethought and planning, but I know we need the money. So, bring ’em in.

Just to be clear, I have watched a lot of Kitchen Nightmares with Gordon Ramsey and the number one criticism by Gordon is that a restaurant shouldn’t stack the raw bacon on top of the lettuce (who knew?). I totally get that given the health order that every restaurant in town will be able to guarantee the following:

• Cleaning supplies must be single use (paper towels, disposable mop heads, etc.) or laundered between every use (dishtowels, mop heads, etc.).
• Hand sanitizer will be available immediately outside of bathrooms.
• Restaurants, Food Service, Food Trucks, Coffee Shops, Bars, C-stores, and Taverns, including lobbies and waiting areas, must close for cleaning in the morning, between shifts (or every four (4) hours), and evening. Cleaning and disinfecting includes all high-traffic areas, tables, chairs, door handles, phones, floors, restrooms, and any high-touch surfaces.
• Staff who handle cash payments will not be involved in the preparation, handling, or delivery of food.
• Staff must clean and disinfect frequently touched objects and surfaces. More specifically, staff must ensure that surfaces, table tops, and areas that are used and touched often are cleaned and sanitized between use by members, guest, patrons and customers.
• Employee Screening will include taking the temperatures of all employees.
• Limit tables to groups of six (6) (unless members of the same household). Adjacent booths can be occupied if there is a minimum 5-foot (measured from the seat) effective barrier between booths. If a 5-foot barrier is absent, booths may be occupied if every other booth is skipped.
• Small private events of twenty (20) people or less with reservations can only be accommodated by establishing a minimum 10-foot distance (or physical barrier) between the group and general public.
• Maintain at least six (6) feet between seated customer groups, whether indoors or outdoors. Either move tables or mark off tables not to be used.
• In waiting areas, a 6-foot distance must be maintained between parties or household groups, whether indoor or outdoor. Waiting areas will have floor markers to indicate proper spacing. Where 6-foot distance cannot be maintained, indoor group waiting areas are prohibited. Weather permitting, food establishments may use outdoor waiting areas with signs and other reminders for groups to maintain 6-foot social distancing. Consider using call-ahead or reservation systems to minimize wait times and stagger arrivals.
• Upon entry, hosts point customers to signage that includes the following information: Remind individuals from separate parties to stand at least six (6) feet apart.
• When possible, hosts should open doors for customers to help prevent congregating of customers at the entrance, show required signage, and explain operating practices.
• Employees who interact with customers or ready- to-eat foods must wear nonsurgical masks or face coverings at all times and perform hand hygiene between interactions with each table.
• Do not place utensils on table until customer is seated.
• Staff will avoid touching items that have been placed on the table (menus, plates, utensils, pens, cups, etc.).
• All customer tables and chairs must be disinfected between each customer or group. A dedicated staff member (not a server or other food handler) must clear and disinfect tables. Do not place tableware until customers are seated. Disposable single-use menus are strongly encouraged. If used, permanent menus must be disinfected after each use.oClose restaurant for cleaning and disinfecting in the morning, afternoon, and evening. Cleaning and disinfecting includes all tables, chairs, door handles, floors, bathrooms, and any high-touch surfaces.
• Staff must use gloves when handling ready-to-eat foods (including ice). Gloves are not required when handling foods that have yet to be cooked.
• Playgrounds inside or outside of restaurants will remain closed.
• Buffet and self-serve restaurants will provide utensils, cups, plates and other service items only from the counter where food is ordered. None of these items will be accessible to the public. Buffet style restaurants will provide servers who will serve the meals from buffet to limit exposure. Customers will not be allowed within six (6) feet of the food serving area. Floor must be marked or barriers provided.
• All shared outside dining areas will remain closed.
• Customers at a restaurant bar must not be seated within six ( 6) feet of other customers, nor any taps, food, clean glasses, or the bartender work area (“the well”). Seats and stools in this area must be removed or unoccupied at all times if this 6-foot requirement cannot be met.
• Condiments must not be kept on tables, but rather given to guests upon request. Condiment containers must be disinfected after each use. Self-serve condiment stations must be monitored and disinfected at least every thirty (30) minutes.
• Self-serve drink stations must be monitored and sanitized at least every thirty (30) minutes, especially surfaces where customers touch. Cups, lids, and straws must be given to customers by food employees. Individuals may not bring their own reusable items (mugs, cups). Single-use items (including to-go boxes, pizza boxes, paper cups, and any other paper product that touches food) should be treated like ready-to-eat food and therefore should not be handled with bare hands by employees.
• Disinfectants/sanitizers effective against SARS-CoV-2 virus must be available. Chlorine bleach at 100-200ppm is recommended. Use disposable cleaning supplies if possible (towels, mop heads, etc.). Other supplies must be laundered for use each day.
• Employees in kitchen areas should practice social distancing whenever possible. Workstations should be arranged so that employees do not face one another. Non-surgical masks or face coverings are encouraged and training provided on the how to appropriately wear them. Whenever possible, staff should be separated into cohorts to minimize interaction between groups. All existing food regulations still apply.
• Hand sanitizer must be available at all customer entrances and outside of public restrooms. Hand sanitizer must not replace hand washing by food handlers.oRestaurants will not operate if PPE, EPA- approved disinfectants and sanitizer, soaps, and other necessary cleaning supplies are not available.

Even if your favorite restaurant doesn’t understand the nuance of stacking raw pork on lettuce, the restaurant who is preparing your food is definitely going to incorporate those 34 tenants into their business practices by tomorrow. Dine-assured. Hell, they’ve had 18 hours.

Don’t worry though. There is strict enforcement coming tomorrow. According to the county, “The County Sheriff and Chiefs of Police within the County are directed to ensure compliance with and enforce this Order. Notwithstanding such, the purpose of this Order is to protect individuals’ health and not to hold them criminally liable. Discretion will be used in the citing and prosecution of violations of this Order.” Nothing gives me more faith in the law than when we have some good “Discretions” and “notwithstandings” in the order.

Restaurants are one thing, but what I’m really looking forward to is all the people from the Salt Lake Valley coming up to use our trails. While our Corona-counts started out big, we are having many fewer cases here. We can change that! I welcome all the people from Utah county who have not been practicing social distancing into our community. There’s nothing like a unanimous vote from your county’s leaders to say, “We welcome you and your money, even if you have Ebola.”

All that said, what I am looking forward to even more than Ebola is the Park City Fourth of July Parade. Where else can I get sweat on by strangers who are standing less than 1/2 inch away from me? Even better, most of those people are from Utah county!!! MMMM. Money.

Given the likely increases in Covid-19 (or is it 20 by now?) from these actions, my kids won’t be able to go to school next fall. What a blessing. I’ll be able to part-time teach them at home far better than any professional who went to 4-8 years of college and/or grad school, and who has taught for 10 years, ever could.

Finally, I am thankful for Sundance, or the lack-there-of. It’s a great idea to open our county up in the shoulder season. That way, this summer we can bring in all sorts of infections. Then right about November, the Sundance Institute can conclude that it’s too dangerous to hold a film festival in Park City in January. Just think about how little traffic we will have and how empty the wine store will be!

Good times indeed! I’m am just so excited to see how this all works out and how much money we can make! What could possibly go wrong?

PSA: All the above joking aside, nothing has changed with the corona virus because five members of the Summit County Council had a vote. There is no cure. There is no vaccine. You’ve heard about “flattening the curve.” That is just an attempt to make sure we have enough hospital beds and ventilators available for those that get sick. It has little to do with your chance of getting the disease — or its impacts.

I believe announcing that we are opening the county is a mistake. I do understand that the pandemic has negatively impacted friends and local businesses. It sucks. How do they survive without customers? My fear is that opening too soon is the death knell. If Christmas and then Sundance is canceled, it will be far worse. My fear is that our actions today will contribute to that outcome, negatively.

Here’s hoping we get lucky.

Statistics on the coronavirus show that the elderly are the most likely to die from the virus. However, that doesn’t mean that younger people don’t get the virus and become sick or pass it on to those that might.

Each day the state of Utah provides updated stats on the impacts. Two of the most interesting are the demographics table and the chart of number of cases versus those tested.

The demographics table below shows that the 25-44 year-old Utahns have the highest percentage of known-infections in the state. That’s followed by 45-64 year-olds. It also shows the rate per 100,000 people in Utah. That allows us to account for the percentage of people by age group. In that case, 45-64 are the most afflicted age group.

The other chart I find interesting is the number of people testing positive and negative each day for coronavirus. For instance today I read that the state of Utah only had 75 people test positive for the virus (compared to the mid 100’s days before). Hooray. Then I looked at the number of people tested. Why is it down so much? Do fewer people get tests on Sunday? Did people leave for Spring Break (even though they are not supposed to)? Are fewer people feeling bad, so they don’t get tested? What I hope to see someday is a huge umber of people tested and a very few number of people testing positive.

If you enjoy this data, it is available at coronavirus.utah.gov. It is updated at around 1 PM each day.

I was in the liquor store a week ago and commented to the employee working there about how civilized the store was. She said, “I think people understand that they don’t want this taken away.” That comment didn’t really resonate until I read KPCW’s article, Basin Dog Parks Closed – Trails Could Be Next.

Basin Recreation District Director Brian Hanton commented on KPCW, “Our trails are still open. We’ve limited a lot of our facilities but we’re inviting people out on the trails we are having some issues at the trailheads. Those will probably be the next [to be shut down] if people can’t abide by the regulations that are in place…”

Imagine the greater Park City area where you can’t go to work, you can’t play pickleball, you can’t go to the gym, you can’t go to any store but a grocer, you can’t go to the dog park, and now you can’t go on any trails. That’s completely miserable, and that’s what’s at stake.

How did we get here? I’m really not sure, but there are lessons to be learned by everyone in our city and county.

So, here’s my list of what we all should have learned by now.

Residents: Stay at home and only venture out if you absolutely need to. Don’t be a jerk.

Medical Professionals: Stay safe by being as careful as you can.

People on our trails: Don’t be a god-damn idiot and get in close proximity to one another. I know you think you won’t get sick and you probably won’t. But your asymptomatic case could kill someone’s loved one. It could also lead to schools being closed next fall. If that happens, damn you all. The best case is you give Brian Hanton a reason to close down our trails. Don’t be selfish. Go be alone and read some Ralph Waldo Emerson.

People in supermarkets: I know you have admired the Seinfeld close-talker episode for years. You want to gather in aisles and spit on each other as you talk… but please stop. Once they close trails, they’ll come for you. They’ll limit supermarkets to one at a time. Don’t be the reason.

Construction Workers: I still don’t see how you can still go to work when most people can’t. But I guess your work is essential to Summit County. Just please don’t take my ventilator when I need it.

Sheriff’s Department: Please don’t post any additional messages saying that “We’re your best friend bro. You can go to work anywhere and don’t really worry about anything ’cause we ain’t going to enforce shit.” People then take the law as a suggestion. That then leads to Basin Rec closing down our trails. I get the caring sentiment and the previous response to people posting incorrect ideas on social media, but now is the time we need enforcement.

County Council: You manage Basin Rec. Don’t let Basin Rec close down the trails. We will be in a world of hurt for so many reasons. People depend on the trails. Many people won’t follow the rules and will still go. People who do follow rules will get belligerent with those who don’t and that will be ugly. The only legal place to walk your dog will be down Main Street. No one wants to walk there these days.

Basin Rec: Don’t close the trails. It’s a terrible outcome for our community. If you are worried about dumbasses congregating, then ask for the County Council’s help. Ask them to put in place an ordinance that gives people three days of warnings. Then, after that, those people congregating WILL BE CHARGED with a misdemeanor that equates with a $100 fine. Then ask the Sheriff to add popular trailheads to the deputy’s normal routes and THEN FINE THOSE PEOPLE violating the law.

If you park one minute over the time limit, the meter maid has no problem giving you a $60 ticket. Shouldn’t our collective health be worth more?

When I first read Brian Hanton’s quote in KPCW, it seemed passive-aggressive. However, maybe that is the only tool Basin Rec has. That said, closing down the trail system isn’t the answer. People doing the right thing is. That requires people to look beyond themself.

Unfortunately, experience shows that many Parkites don’t have the ability to do that.

This mess is going to get worse before it gets better. The only question I have is whether things will get back to normal in the Fall.